Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Clucking Their Way Into Hearts

My dear Gnomes and Sweet Cream dears:)


Here is some more artwork Darlins:)

These are two of the new Baby chicks....I am very soon going to name all of them...I have barley been able to breathe in between planting and such:) I believe I dug more dirt up yesterday







This is one of the ducks:) I am looking forward to keeping little duckies:) I adore the way they waddle their tails :)







....& of course this little girl...I kept on dreaming of this image, and I am glad I could bring it into reality:)






I am not going to lie... it has been a tough 24hours... I do not know why I do it, but I keep the hardest of things that happen on the farm all to myself...as if when scary or bad things happen, if you do not mention them or let them infuse into other peoples memories, they really never happened...

I have lost animals...

I have faced many emotional and physical barriers as if being caught in invisible barbwire around higher hills and richer soil...

My dear and sweet Grandma is in the Hospital... I lost my Grandpa a few years back in the same hospital, and all I can do is pray and send hope above any fertile and thriving hope that she comes back to our farm for the oncoming spring... it is so tough with the elderly, never knowing what seemed so little might be horrible..or just the opposite...

I tried calling one person last night to console me... Just wanting to tell somebody about what is going on in my head and what lay heavy on my heart.... they must have been busy... but then I thought, maybe that is for the best..who wants to listen to me be sad over life and the changing of that...

it was a rough night... I came home from across the pasture after shutting up barns and such... I thought it was our dog buster in the chicken run, but then I saw that buster was right next to me... A coyote had the gull to creep into the chicken run and upon the site of me lunged it's self back over the wire...then buster and harold ran after the Coyote with a chicken in it's mouth....I ran after them both and saw in the distance many glinting eyes of the pack... then I imagined my sweet Harold being attacked by the pack or buster falling to them....I held back buster by the collar and he snapped at me... Harold obeyed with words... So I am down one sweet hen and I was one sad peach....

I did not call my family though, because I was afraid they would say "I Told You So...."

Of course they would feel bad and a bit scared for me, but goodness gracious... I just want to succeed in this life I have choosen, and not be looked at like crazy or a nucence of fanciful thoughts...

I really do not even know what to think...

I am crying right now over my coffee and muddy knees from trying to plant a few more strawberry plants this morn, but it became to windy, & I was eating more dirt than what I was using to plant...

Why cant' t spring be here right now, with the last frost having never come... That would be lovely if the fruit trees kept their blooms....Apricot cobbler and peach pie:)

There will be more chickens and I pray that Grandma will come out of this stronger than when she went in, but it can be so tough....so tough.... when you internalise things.... I do this because I feel as if a greater force needs me too... I am a very happy and optomistic person and I strive to always keep that... but gosh... I hate Coyotes ...I hate late freezes... I hate people being sick....& I hate feeling this way...

But I adore hope and knowing that life is good....the simple joy of knowing I have actions and those actions can make a diffrence..

Sorry for getting a bit heavy on you folks today...I just needed to get a few things off my gingham dress:)

I wish you all a lovely day and hold the life around you tight, and feel fortunate you were able to have it at all:)

Cheers, Beards & Banjos

Miss Samantha Joelle Honey Lamb

10 comments:

Briana Shepley said...

Ah Sam, my heart goes out to you :( Your grandma is certainly in my thoughts and I understand the fears and sadness that come along with an ill elderly family member. I received word yesterday about my grandpa that sent me into a very sad place last night but I'm trying to be strong and keep on trucking through the day even though I just want to hide under my covers for a few days. I hope with all of my heart that your grandma comes back to the gardens soon with you :)

There's so much more I wish I had the time to say but just know that I am thinking of you :)
Briana

BELLA VITA JEWELRY said...

Oh Sam! You are a huge inspiration to me! I admire you for living out there on that farm by yourself. I love how you live life like it was 30, 40 years ago. And your art is amazing as well. You my dear, give me hope that being a jewelry designer/full time artist is possible. I see you at shows and think "well maybe this can work for me, she has been doing it a while and has a good following."
Having sick family is really hard. I myself have one set of grandparent's left and they worry me all the time. I know it is hard to see them ill and in the hospital. Your Grandma is in my prayers and all your farm animals! Bad coyotes! Bad!! Hope to see you soon and if you ever need an escape to town you're always welcome here!

ann said...

Hello, my Precious Sam. Please don't hesitate to call me anytime, anywhere. I have always been, and will always be here for you. You can talk to me about anything. Your heart will always be safe with me. My # is 510-725-9559. I can't wait to see your beautiful face and Early Bird Acres. I love you more than mushrooms, peppers and onions all on the same pizza and would love to be back in your life.

Gemma Mortlock said...

Hey Sam, Im so sorry to hear of your sad times and your grandma who is poorly. I shall keep her in my thoughts and hope she gets better and returns to you at your farm soon, and as for the coyote and the chickens how awful! That must have been upsetting and i can completely understand you breaking down in tears and crying. Sometimes it does us good to have a rant on the blogs as you come to realise just how many people reply and read exactly what you are saying. dont worry about being down, it is natural you have had some very tough times, but remember there are people out there who care and will be thinking of you, you are not alone...
Big hugs from across the ocean
Gem
xxx

Holly Hall said...

Hang in there, Sam. My heart has been heavy a lot lately too with birth fears, money worries and my husband's dear grandpa having a bad stroke. Farming by yourself is a tough, brave choice and it's okay to feel discouraged and down when bad things happen. I admire you for passionately pursuing your dreams. Thinking of you and your grandma.

Enchante' said...

Your sharing only makes us love you that much more,}
I hope it all weathers out well, as it should be, sweet lady.
xo
M

chloe.eloise♥ said...

You have to think that everything happens for a reason and you'll see, one day that something good will always come from something bad.

On a lighter note, I loooove those shots of the duckling. I love how he's nestles up on those books. So adorable. I love your photography. Amazing.

Fox Whiskers

mybrandnewlife said...

Hon, so sorry to hear about all the trials and tribulations life has thrown at you at once. My thoughts and hopes are with you and Grandma at this time, and I'm sure you'll be back having tea on the porch real soon.

And never listen to the "I told you so's..." that's just their excuse for never trying. How can it be "fanciful thoughts' when you're doing so well and so many of us aspire to the same thing. :o)

And finally, as Mother Theresa once said, "I know the Universe won't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish it didn't trust me so much." Says it all really. Hang in there hon, it'll all work out. Hugs.

Kiki xx

JoAnnaGracePhotos said...

Hello there!
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother being in the hospital - she is definitely in my prayers.
Even though I'm just a stranger that enjoys your blog posts, and I hope to bring you some encouragement!
I love following your blog because it inspires me. I have my little dream of one day raising vegetable gardens, having a horse, & raising some rabbits, whilst creating arts & crafts too! So you definitely encourage me in those hopes & dreams. I'm glad you've released some of what you've been going through on here -it's so healthy to do so!
Anyways, praying for you. Thanks for sharing!

Rylie Renee said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG.
It is so pretty!!

AND, my family just got little chicks. Aren't they just the cutest things, with all of their chirps and cheeps?

:)